Meat Fichigan (or something like that...)

Though I'm a proud OSU Alum, I was never and to this day am not a "Scarlet & Grey" type of guy. After about 6 years, I think the only time I had any deep feelings about those two colors was when they showed up in my vomit after a typical Thursday. That's not to say I didn't watch the games or root for them... but I think a lot of Buckeyes missed the orientation session where they said that you didn't have to like football to subject your liver to intense misuse and sleep in until 3 in the afternoon. Anyhow, in the spirit of OSU pride I submit these words in the hope that this country's future Sarah Palins and Phil Goldbergs will find any and every excuse to abuse their bodies- even if it is football.