And for my next trick...
Well, here we are- Midnight at Casa De Goldberg. It's a typical scene: My brother Josh and his girlfriend have settled in for the night. My brother Sam Ezra is out seeing a show I should probably be seeing (read: shellac). My nightly dose of Xanax has, without fail, kicked in. I've come to the realization, however ridiculous- that I have not been truly happy since high school. Thats right-High School. In hindsight, High School, though awkward and ridiculous, was a world where structure was so predictable that bending the rules and winging it, if done right, would never lead to infinite doom or despair. So I think, despite racking my brain for about 6 months as to what my next career move should be, that I'm just going to go back to high school.
How you ask? Here's how: I'm going to get my teachers license and that masters in education I should've been almost done with right about now if I had only picked a specialization in the field of education that didn't wind up proturbing the living daylights out of me. There you have it. I'm going back to high school.
In other unimportant news to the rest of the universe: I hate myself for loving the movie Fever Pitch.
In even more unimportant news: I am now obsessed with getting impaled in the heart by a stingray like Crocodile Hunter. The image continues to run through my mind like some sort of twisted Cronenberg scene on loop.
Class Dismissed.
How you ask? Here's how: I'm going to get my teachers license and that masters in education I should've been almost done with right about now if I had only picked a specialization in the field of education that didn't wind up proturbing the living daylights out of me. There you have it. I'm going back to high school.
In other unimportant news to the rest of the universe: I hate myself for loving the movie Fever Pitch.
In even more unimportant news: I am now obsessed with getting impaled in the heart by a stingray like Crocodile Hunter. The image continues to run through my mind like some sort of twisted Cronenberg scene on loop.
Class Dismissed.
posted by Phil G at 12:03 AM
3 comments 
3 Comments:
wow, me too, except for the fever pitch thing, and high school being fun.
I totally know what you mean. I remember hating high school at the time, but whenever I think back on it, my memories are pretty nice. It really was fun. Plus, back then I got away with murder (figuratively). There's no way I could do any of those things now. I got caught smoking pot by THE PRINCIPAL and did not get in trouble. Now I don't even smoke pot with "The Principal".
And yeah, stingrays.... it really IS compelling. I really don't know what Fever Pitch is.
dude, billy madison. it's the citizen kane of the '90s.
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